3 Critical Topics Every Family Should Discuss Over the Holidays
This post may contain affiliate links which means that I will receive a small commission for purchases made through those links, at no cost to you.
The holiday season is usually the one time during the year in which families travel near and far to spend time with each other, eat good food and reminisce about the good old days. However; what we often leave out of the conversation are some key life items. Though these topics are not 100% about money, they directly feed into the financial planning discussions that need to occur before a family member endures illness or death. Here are 3 critical topics every family should discuss over the holidays:
1. Important Documents
2. Family History
3. Health Concerns
3 Critical Topics Every Family Should Discuss Over the HolidayS
1. Important Documents
Discussing aging and end of life plans can be a very touchy subject for some families. Oftentimes, the elders of the family are not interested in discussing anything related to illness or death. However; it is inevitable that those two things will happen.
In order to make the conversation as comfortable as possible, begin by pulling the parent/relative to the side and gently asking them about the whereabouts of any important documents. Then, as they began to open up, you will see below how this conversation can be used as a gateway to begin asking about finances. Explain to the parent/relative that you are trying to mentally organize everything in case of an emergency. The end result would be to obtain as much information as possible regarding end of life plans. If you are looking for guidance regarding which documents you need, please check out The Basic Emergency Financial Checklist.
On the other hand, some families, like mine are very outspoken. So, it’s easier to ask for the information and receive an honest answer. If your family is also like this, ask the questions and jot down the answers. You will be amazed at how fast you forget certain information, even if it’s important.
2. Family History
If the elders of your family are willing to discuss any parts of your family’s history, then take this as an opportunity to not only listen but to ask specific questions that may help you to connect the dots in other areas. Then ask if it’s okay to use a recorder or jot down some notes on your phone. This way you will be able to go back and listen or read.
Before my paternal grandmother passed away in March of 2019, I sat down with her two Thanksgiving’s before that and just listened to her talk. I’ve always listened to her tell stories, but this time it was different. She didn’t tell me any secrets, but she did provide details about her life growing up, in addition to talking about her parents and siblings. She helped me to piece some parts of my family’s history together that I never knew. So, I jotted down as much as I could on my cell phone. Thinking about it now, I realize that this would have been the perfect gateway for me to respectfully ask her about her end of life plans, etc. However; fortunately for me, she had 3 responsible adult children, who knew all of the important details regarding her finances and her final plans.
3. Health Concerns
Discussing any health issues is crucial to figuring out what needs to happen with the finances. For example, if a parent/relative does not have any health insurance, then this will play a very critical role in choosing senior living facilities if they were to ever become ill. This is a huge expense that definitely needs to be discussed early on. However; you can’t just start talking and have the first question be about senior living facilities. The main point behind starting off the conversation with the gentler questions is so that you can ease your way into the more difficult questions. Every family is different, but there are certain people who may be unable to handle a more direct or blunt approach.
Avoid These 7 topics:
I’ve provided 3 critical table topics to discuss over the holidays. However; I would be remised if I didn’t list a few topics that family members should totally avoid during the holiday season. I won’t go into detail, but just in case you wanted to wander off and add some additional items to my list of 3 above, please see the list of 7 items below that family members should avoid discussing:
1. Weight Gain/Loss
2. Love/Dating Life
3. Plans to Have Kids
4. Politics
5. Religion
6. Sex
7. Money
Final Thoughts
For most families, the holidays are a time to celebrate and show gratitude for everything that has happened throughout the year. However; families also have to make time to discuss important matters such as 1. Important Documents 2. Family History 3. Health Concerns and although it may be uncomfortable for some, certain conversations need to be held. These are the types of discussions that keep family members from going crazy when parents or other relatives become ill or suddenly pass away.
